hi blog.... my life been realli shitty wat am i suppose 2 do? i jus feel so restless. 2 girls fighting over me? arh fuck it man. life is so stress out. been havin headach for weeks. how i wish i can laugh n b crazy lik eunice mei. hais..... jus laugh n fuck care all shit. Stay happy.. =]

my ex wrote tis "I dont know should i hate him or continue loving him . He keep on breaking his promises , again and again . Go find Other girls la hor . I aint somebody for you to fool around . Five months being fooled around you is already enough dont come trying to fool me rounds and rounds again ."

5 months being fooled around?so wen we r actually 2gether, u tink i was fooling u? ok fine nvm.... i fooled u happy? oh w8. no i dun tink u r fooled. bt i think i am the fool! i love u so much, bought almost everything u wanted. u wanted a rose i by u wanted anything i always tried 2 get it 4 u. n now? u tink i fooled u? toyed u? great! tis is so heartbreaking. suddenly, all my hopes n care 2wards u shattered n burn 2 ashes. u dun even noe the amount of sacrifice i made 4 u. dam...... everitime i saw winne the pool or tat stupid turttle i tink of u. i 2day almost teared as i saw tat pool. everyime i saw something cute, i always think oh y nt i by it 4 my baby, bt ltr did i realise, i hav actualli broken up. i put tat thing bak.... hais sometimes i tink i am the fool who tried 2 love her so much, hoping 2 satisfiy her every way possible. jus wan her 2 change n b happy. bt den she did change. bt it was 4 the worst i guess. n actually i tink i am the 1 being fooled. cause u smoke bhind my bak, u did all sorts of things bhind my bak. yet i although i noe, i pretend as if i dun. who is the biggest fool now? Stay happy.. =]

sadness sadness sadness. hais...... break up wtf? i duno tat 2day would realli b the last lunch. hais...... the last lunch..... i realli hope 2 meet her again... soon. i wish i could marry her, my dream 2 tat is stil aint gone... mayb ltr part of the life, wen she matures, mayb den is the rite time 2 contact her. i wonder wil she stil love me by den? hais confused confused confused. i jus out of time. i am so stress out. wat 2 do tell me.... i onli grandson. i need consider factors. her bad reputation may affect my studies, as i worried 4 her n if my studies affected i cant do well..... hais, i just wish tat she wil stil w8 4 me.... idk y deep down, i stil love her alot. she wil stil b the cutest girl in my heart.... bt wats the point, we had broken up..... wat 2 do.? i jus hope she wil find a better boy.... bt den again, imagining her being hugged by another boy mak my hearts ached. fuck! al i can do now, is teared alone in the emptiness in me....

2day was jus fucked up..... wen had lunch wif samantha n my 'baby' n den went c doc..... den ltr tings jus happen 2 fast.... and ltr do i noe.... break up hais. after i read her blog, i decided giv her 1 more chance. she turn down tat offer...... i am sad, i am down.... i realli wish 2 b wif her again in future..... bt i guess she do nt wan me anymore. she claim tat i deserve a better girl... wel i guess i do. bt she aint tat bad... jus a little childish... hais, she's stil the girl i love.... bt mayb n hopefully since she do nt wan me anymore, time wil heal the wounds n leave fresh memories unwritten.....


sad sad sad..... Stay happy.. =]

father despise me,
father nag me,
results suck,
cant study,
father tak me & compare 2 my cousins,
dance com coming n havent realli prepare,
father keep yelling vulgar,
tat time say go tuition still get so low results,
now i study tel me study also get so low,
'o' lvl chinese coming,
my class look down on me,
my life so dim,
my stead so far now,
i am jus all alone in tis fucked up world,
helped some1 so much n she souldnt even giv me her contact 2 chat,
stil say she nt using me.
tis society is jus using each other n aft using, they jus,
kiss gdbye.
my stead using me, my friends using me, my father using me. i am jus a expanable matrial being used by everi fucked up human being.
i worth nth. i am jus a material? i am fucking useless, hopeless. i am jus an expanable idoit Stay happy.. =]

i feel so useless......i am such a failure.
i fail 2 b a gd son.
i fail 2 b a person who can study well, get good results....
my chinese study so hard. in the end? paper 2 i fail by 5.5 marks. hais i duno wat 2 say le la.
i failed 2 b a gd stead.
now my stead mak me n tis girl call samantha, we same same importance 2 her.... i feel lik my stead is drifting away from me. i told her time after time tat we should nt bother abt other ppl problems. sometimes, i wish 2 spend some quality time wif her. bt jus cant. now my fucking phone gt confiscated. i cant sms her. al i can is cal her wen i reach home. bt den everitime we call. i wil feel hurt as she would hurt me 1 way or another.....most of the time she is unaware of it. hais.... i duno how 2 express myself.... i am such a failure....
samantha may b goin through hardship physically. bt baby, i am going through it mentally.
i realli do nt feel any sense of belonging 2 tis world. tis horrid place. i guess, tat candle flame i hav 2 lit the entire dark room in me hav been put out.... by u.... hais, i am sorry bt if tis goes on, i may follow the call of death.... sadness Stay happy.. =]

stand by me.
let me cradle you tightly,
in my arms.
let me warm you, in the
cold
winter to come.

let each leaves of the AMAZON RAINFOREST.
be my love for you.
let each morning dew, cleanse our troubles
let each raindrops, rinse away our misunderstanding

day by day,
you are drifting away.
coldness bites my heart.
loneliness...
howled like a wolf....

the future haunts me,
like a never ending nightmare...
that i am to
endure.
sadness
i am to be felt.

the flickering flame,
of the melted candle...
the flickering light
in the dark room.
is about to die
in silence
in darkness

Stay happy.. =]

haha so long no post le... hais.... so many things happen! woots i love my baby girl. our second month just passed. feel so happy.... Stay happy.. =]